Should I
by writerofthewind
Summary: Maya is stuck between a rock and a hard place. She's lost everyone and she's lost and depressed. She will be stuck in making a complicated decision. Will she make the right or wrong choice. Triles/ Matlingsworth /Camaya


Maya pov :

Breath….just breath be calm and do it. How hard is it to do one simple thing, like this like really? He did it, why can't I do it. I know the consequences of my actions. I know wrong move and that's it. I hate that I keep second guessing everything; I want it to end. The pain the depression, I want to be loved again.

I need someone to show me that I'm wanted, and I want to stop missing them. I want to apologize for hurting them, for ruining their lives. I want to apologize for being a waste of space and not being the girl friend that they deserve. Before, I do this and say good-bye to the world I need to apologize.

Since, one of these guys have left this Earth, without saying goodbye, I need to tell tis to the one who is living. I grab the cell phone that is on my dresser in my bedroom. I call having a feeling that he won't answer; and I am correct. It goes on voicemail, so I decide to leave a voicemail. Which is probably the best thing for my situation.

_Voicemail*_

_Hi, Miles this is Maya, but you probably know that. Mm, I wanted to apologize for running your life. Ever since I came into your life I've made you miserable .I don't know why I even bothered to become a part, of anyone's life. All I do is ruin people's lives, and I'm sorry for sabotaging you and Tristan's relationship. I was just so angry that you weren't mines anymore .And, I know I'm the one who ended the relationship, but I was so hurt. I know I was wrong for trying to break you up with Tristan, and you guys were happy. (Starts sobbing)_

_But, I want to be happy again, ever since someone special in my life passed I've always been hurt. Except, then the summer of 2013, I found someone different or some can say similar to that loved one that passed I told you about it. You were both athletic super stars, dangerous. You both threw caution to the wind and think about the consequences later._

_Who you both hurt so badly later the fact and I loved that about you guys. But, who would I be if I didn't tell you who this 'passed away loved on is'. He was my first love, and first kiss and he hurt me so bad. He killed himself, he was depressed, homesick and tired of love. I never understood till now, why he killed himself till now._

_I thought he did because he hated me or I wasn't good enough for him .But, now I understand he was tired of the pain and the hurt. Till just know I've hated him for it, now I understand it. Anyways, he was sweet, not the smartest, and not very experienced, for the say he's older than us. He was on his way to the NHL, but he hated hockey. Did you know that was his secret, and I was the only who knew? Cam was his name, Campbell Saunders and I called him cheesy. It was hard losing him and so easy finding you. But, now you're with my ex-best friend and we have to say good-bye. What I did to you and Tris was horrible and now everyone hates me. Telling the whole student body that Tristan slept with our teacher and he sleeps with anyone who wants to sleep with him. _

_And, it's even worse that people or now calling him a 'gay whore', All our friends don't want to talk to me , my parents are just so tired of me. What's the point of living! What's the point of breathing when I have no one to love me! I'm telling you this because this is my apology and good bye to you. Right now, you are the most important person to me because I love you so much. You are what god gave to me when Cam decided to leave I don't have you, so I'm leaving just like Cam did. I know this is wrong to say but I just feel like Cam had it right. So, good bye my bad boy, good bye forever! _

_Voicemail over*_

I end the voice mail and go back to my corner and pick up the blade from my razor. I look at it for a long period of time. I think about it is it worth it. Will, this help my situation, will this make everyone else happy. Can I experience complete happiness and finally be complete. Apart of me, isn't ready for this. I can't imagine death but who can. I can't imagine not being without Miles, Zig, Chewy, Zoë, Tristan, mom, Katie, and dad. How would they feel if I would just end up leaving, like Cam? Would they hate me like I hated Cam when he killed himself? Even though were not together would Miles blame himself like I blamed myself.

Is it true what they say it's not worth killing yourself? I can't handle heartbreak, I can't live without Cam, and I can't live without Miles. There's only one of them here with me on this Earth and I pushed him away. Come on stupid Matlin make up a choice, what will you do? "Are you happy here?" **No**! As, my mind makes this short statement, I know what I must do. I have to say goodbye, I have to leave everyone goodbye. I look at the razor one more time. I touch it with my finger and feel the cold metal cutting skin. It doesn't bleed by just tear the first layer of the skin on my finger. I look around my room.

Breath… just breath be calm and do it. How hard is it to do something so simply complicated? Cam did I, but why should I. But, another question is why shouldn't I do it? I touch my wrist, I look at them for a while and I take caution to the wind. Like, my two favorite people, the loves of my life. I don't think about the consequences and just do

. I feel the cold metal against my skin. Tearing open my skin, I feel a rush of adrenaline come to my body. The feeling is so intense and painful, but I feel so much in control .I continue going deeper and then I drop the razor blade and start to get light headed. And, I become very dizzy and I know this is the end. I crawl out of my closet to my room floor. I hear footsteps and my eyes begin to close. I then pass out and the rest is history is to me.

Authors Note :

Hi guys, its moi and I'm happy to be back. I would like to say that I'm taking a hiatus on my story Complications. But, I'm going to be writing one shots and 2-5 chapter stories till im back on the wagon. It hope you enjoy it and review. If it gets enough reviews it will become a longer story .The more reviews the longer my short fic is. I want to have Triles and Matlingsworth story and I'm pretty happy about what I came up with so far. I'm going to make a trailer for both stories on YouTube and out the link on my , on my profile I will have a link about suicide and the prevention line phone number .I'm going to set my profile up really nice , for my readers. I really want to make you guys happy. Reviews are the key to better longer chapters. At the end of the story you'll have to vote for who MILES SHOULD BE WITH.

Bye loves, :}


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